Е. В. Дмитриева
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●Прочитайте и переведите текст. FRIENDS AND FRIENDSHIPS Friendship, like love affairs, can run out of steam. As we grow up, sometimes we grow apart. Recently, a good friend and I parted company. There was no blow-up, no crashing dishes, no dramatic pie-in-the-face. Just a gradual loss of faith, compounded by geographical distance and the demands of our careers. Women are often more prepared for the end of a love affair than for the demise of a friendship. We have endless advice books on how to recover when your lover's left you, but little seems to be said about friends who break each other's hearts. Maybe it's because we never think of our relationships with other women as being passionate or intense. But a woman can be as emotionally dependent on a friend as she is on a lover, and when the relationship ends, abruptly or not, it can leave both women hurt and angry, wondering what went wrong. I've learned from experience that good friendships are based on a delicate balance. When friends are on a par, professionally and personally, it's easier for them to root for one another. It's taken me a long time to realize that not all my «friends» wish me well. Someone who wants what you have may not be able to handle your good fortune: if you find yourself apologizing for your hard-earned rise or soft-pedalling your long-awaited promotion, it's a sure sign that the friendship is off balance. Real friends are secure enough in their own lives to share each other's successes – not begrudge them. On the other hand, that balance may be upset when two friends do become equals. A woman I know valued her friendship with an older mentor who saw her only in that subservient role. When my friend became increasingly successful, and ultimately reached the level of her mentor, the older woman abruptly ended the relationship. It was clear that she was not needed in the same capacity and could not make the adjustment. 110 Friend-shedding is a rite of passage and should be seen as a positive sign of growth. Certain life events tend to accelerate this process – say, the sudden appearance of a good-looking boyfriend or maybe even an engagement ring. It's not uncommon for friends to try unconsciously to sabotage these new relationships if they feel threatened by them. But if that happens frequently, it may be time to reevaluate your friendship. A frank discussion can work wonders in this situation – in my case, I found out that my friend and I were not as close as we'd once been. My life had taken a different direction since we'd first met, and I'd expected her to follow with the same speed and enthusiasm. We finally agreed that we are not as alike as we had once thought, nor should we be. We decided that it was time to take a leave of absence from each other. Putting each other «on hold» indefinitely is hard, but sometimes it's the wisest thing to do. It never hurts to put some distance between friends if the relationship is strained, and it may even prevent a final, irrevocable break. Sometimes, friendships can be renewed on their own: unlike love affairs, which demand a certain degree of commitment to stay alive, a little healthy neglect can be good for a friendship and may even lead to a reconciliation that might not otherwise have taken place. And if that happens, you'll likely find yourself in a more honest, and certainly more balanced, relationship. Laying a friendship out on the table like that isn't easy, but in the long run, it pays off. After all, knowing who isn't your friend is just as important as knowing who is. жүктеу/скачать 1,01 Mb. Достарыңызбен бөлісу:
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